Testimony - Nkosi Mkhwananzi

I remember it like it was yesterday, the picture is still vivid in my mind. I was in 7th grade, a 12 year old girl excited about going for a trip with her friends and spending 3 nights without parental supervision. I had thought it would be the best 4 days of my life, I would create the greatest memories. Yes, memories were created. Leaving home I wouldn't have imagined that what awaited me would not only break me but mould me and make me into the young lady that I am right now.

My friends and I sat at the back of the bus. We were laughing and enjoying the warmth from the sun. Sitting in front of us were 2 boys, 2 mean boys who found joy in hurting others and that day I happened to be their victim. They made fun of my body size, called me skinny... 'thin as grass'... amongst other nasty things. They were saying it very loudly, almost everyone could hear them. Because they were feared, everyone laughed at their insults and some even added on to them. Wanting to seem brave, I laughed with them. On the surface, I laughed but deep down my self esteem and pride were being ground into powder. I felt small, inadequate and out of place. The whole bus was having a fit of laughter at my expense. It got to a point where I couldn't laugh anymore and I broke down. I cried angry tears...tears that had questions on them 'Why am I skinny?' 'Why did God make me like this?' I must say that I never enjoyed the trip at all, those 4 days were not as exciting as I had anticipated, they were just days of hiding and crying.

Coming from a religious family I go to church every Sunday. I remember one Sunday, the pastor saying to us that there's no problem or situation that doesn't have a verse or scripture to challenge it. This was almost 4 years after the incident, but I was still insecure. I used to find myself looking for methods and ways to gain weight...things like eating tablespoons of peanut butter but I never changed in size so The Bible was my last option...I really wanted to know if the pastor was being truthful. I looked through the concordance in The Bible and I came across 1st Peter 2 vs 9 'for you are a chosen generation, a royal priesthood, a holy nation and a peculiar people' those few words spoke to me. I won't lie and say the insecurity disappeared at that moment, it was a process. Whenever I felt ugly that verse reminded me of who I was. It told me I was royal.

Eventually, I learnt to love myself, I learnt to be confident in my skin. I found myself feeling beautiful and I became immune to people's insults. I remember Zendaya saying she was as thick as a stick and I was like yassss... I'm thick as a stick too😊😊. However, as much as I had learnt to love myself, I was surrounded by insecure and unhappy people. I sympathized with their feelings, having felt them myself (I just quoted Heathcliff from Wuthering Heights😂) and that's when the idea of Royal Footprints came. I felt I had a role to play in helping others, I wanted all this ridicule, insult and society's countless and unrealistic rules and boundaries about beauty to end. The name was inspired by my favorite scripture, the same scripture that delivered me from the hands of society's judgement 1st Peter 2 vs 9.

In ending my testimony I just want to remind anyone who's reading this that you are Royal, accept it and embrace it. Treat yourself, walk and talk like the queen or king that you are because if you don't, no one else will. It all starts with you.

My name is Nkosinosizo Mkhwananzi and this is my testimony 😊.